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Black Beast of Lewistown

from Mountain Monsters of Maryland by Mike Kuster

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about

I was sittin' in an Airbnb when High-Hat Hank, my drummer, sent me a video someone made of an Angus steer running down US 15 near Lewistown, Maryland, a few miles from home. Traffic was stopped, police cars were in pursuit, and the guy posting the video shouted something as the steer trotted by him. It cracked me up and Hank said, "I'm sure you can write a song about this." So, I wrote this one for my Halloween album that I had almost finished.

lyrics

Well, I invited my cousin to make a trip
To visit our farm and get some rest
Up in the country here near Frederick
Come breath fresh air and slow down a bit

He grew up down in Montgomery County
Down there between the Sugarloaf and district
Pretty sure he ain't ever seen a street
With no sidewalk or yellow strips

I warned him things here are a little different
Fields of corn and cows and sheep
You'll see things here you ain't ever seen
From the wildlife best to keep your distance

Well he chuckled at that and said I'm on my way
He started up 270 in his electric whip
He was doin fine crusin’ into Frederick City
The traffic jams and people he said were pleasant

The mountain views and clean pure air
Took him by surprise but it felt good to breath
So he forged ahead on up 15
Through hallowed grounds and scenes serene

Then all of a sudden he slammed on his brakes
Traffic was stopped in the middle of the day
He assumed a crash up ahead did lay
But what he saw required a double take

It started coming toward him at a gentle pace
But as it got a little closer it seemed half-crazed
A big black beast charging through the cars
Trucks and semis all now parked

It kinda looked evil, he was scared for his life
A Lewistown monster black as night
It looked like a cow but he'd bet on his wife
That no man could milk it and he was right

On TikTok I saw that awful beast
That sent my cousin south and runin’ on home
An Angus steer on the lam near Lewistown
Just taking a jog down the middle of 15

So, if you're city kinfolk come up to visit
Please don't forget to mention
That livestock roam free
Whenever they get the notion

There ain't no monsters here that'll getcha
Cept that Snallygaster, Dwayoo,
And that daggum witch

credits

from Mountain Monsters of Maryland, track released October 6, 2023

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Mike Kuster Walkersville, Maryland

Mike Kuster filled his debut album, Better Late Than Never, with country songs he wrote grounded in a love for traditional country music. Mike tapped a group of award-winning musicians to bring his songs to life including Dr. Ford, Chris Condon (guitars), Caleb Mundy (bass guitar), Smith Curry (pedal steel guitar and dobro), Gary Carter (steel guitar), and Michael Cleveland (fiddle and mandolin). ... more

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